A Monkey baat, an Affi-dammit and a Choker in the pack

 

It’s very, very difficult to get into the civil services in India. The exams and procedures are so excruciatingly tough that after making it, we relax for about 30-35 years just to recover and then it’s time to collect the pension and gratuity. The syllabus is really vast and practically unlimited. It requires rigorous study of many subjects for at least a year. With just 200-300 making it to the coveted services like IAS, IPS, IFS, etc. out of about 15 lakh candidates, anyone who makes it has to be pretty well educated through the process. What happens to these guys when they join politics? Do they regress or attain some second childhood of illiteracy? 

First, the Monkey baat. 

Dr. Satya Pal Singh is a Post-Graduate in Chemistry, has an M. Phil. in Chemistry from Delhi University and also holds a PhD from Nagpur University. He joined IPS in 1980 and during the Police career also obtained an MBA from Australia and an MA in Public Administration. He rose to become the Police Commissioner of Mumbai, as prestigious a post as they come. He took voluntary retirement from the Police service, won a Parliamentary seat and became a Minister. It is reported that before joining the Police, he wanted to become a scientist. Thus spake he on 19.1.2018 when he was Minister of State for Human Resource Development (Higher Education): 

“Darwin’s theory is scientifically wrong. It needs to change in the school and college curriculum. Since man is seen on Earth, he has always been a man. Nobody, including our ancestors, in written or oral, said they ever saw an ape turning into a human being.” 

When he was severely criticised, he doubled down, saying he was speaking “as a man of science.” When he went on to plan an international conference where scientists could come and debate his great wisdom, finally it was too much and his Cabinet Minister reprimanded him by publicly stating, “I have asked him to refrain from making such comments. We are not going to fund any event or don’t have any plan for a national seminar to prove Darwin wrong. It is the domain of scientists and we should let them free to continue their efforts for progress of the country.” 

Another day, another civil servant – Ms Aparajita Sarangi, from the IAS. She was in the service for 24 long years and was obviously conversant with laws, procedures, proofs, legal requirements and natural justice. Did she forget all that when she joined politics? 

She was part of the “Ethics Committee” which found Mahua Moitra guilty of unethical conduct. I saw the panel discussion on TV where she was asked where was the proof. She kept hemming and hawing and when persistently asked, came out with “There was an affidavit.” The logic is crazy, (affi)dammit! Now if I sign an affidavit tomorrow saying Ms Sarangi has committed murder, would she be hanged? No Sir, I shall be cross-examined, asked to show proof beyond any reasonable doubt, and so on. Well, she was asked whether the committee examined the person who had made the affidavit, that too not in a court of law but before a High Commissioner abroad. She kept evading the question and kept on repeating, “Well … there WAS an affidavit …" 

The latest is a (choker) pearl from Mr. Ashwini Vaishnaw, the honourable Railways Minister, ex-IAS. He has banned bandhgala as a formal dress in the railways, saying: 

“We have to get rid of all colonial mindset. We need to find each of them and remove them, whether it’s in our working style or dressing style. Today I am making the first announcement. Humare jo bandgale ka kala suit angrezon ne chalu kiya tha, aaj se yeh railway mein formal dress nehin rahegi.” 

There are a few questions around that extraordinary statement. 

I can’t find a single reference of any of the “angrezon” either wearing a bandhgala or mandating one. On the other hand, I find well documented history and evolution of bandhgala from the erstwhile “royal” families of Rajasthan, to the Mughal court before the British. Raghavendra Rathore, Indian menswear designer has called the garment “India’s most refined expression of royal tailoring.” He said, “I think it’s unfair to say this jacket is not part of our own history or it’s the costume of another culture. It has developed and evolved over four centuries, going back to the Mughal courts and the Rajasthan princely states. This jacket was here before the British arrived in Calcutta and it’s gone through a very fluid evolution since then.” Mr. Vaishnaw is literally and figuratively ripping apart the fabric of our own society. 

Secondly, the railways itself is a colonial legacy. Should we then go back to bullock carts and Mr. Vaishnaw be divested of that portfolio quickly? There have been claims by an erstwhile Chief Minister that India already had internet, satellite communication, etc. during the Mahabaharat days so his other jobs of IT, etc. are safe for the time being. 

Our Parliament system itself has a lot of borrowings from the Westminster system. Should the Parliament be closed down then? It may not be a bad idea, given the way it functions now, almost as a redundancy. 

IMHO, there’s a false labelling of quintessentially Indian things as alien, mythology as science and everyday obscurantism as gospel truth. Sure, certain colonial-era relics need to be discarded. E.g., the haughty mindset of the Ministers and MPs, an imperious executive completely disconnected from the grassroots, appalling unaccountability of the high and mighty, and so on. Pseudoscience is regressive. Silly schoolboy excuses of affidavits won’t do. And, banning bandhgalas has zero basis and even less meaning.