The entire alternate universe of the believers centres around what they think is believed or supported by a person who must not be named.
For them, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named (HWMNBN) is God, just performing master-stroke after master-stroke. Even if his party might make the occasional mistake and its ministers may make the occasional bigger mistake, HWMNBN can do no wrong. He is divinely ordained to take India out of darkness towards light. He is also non-biological and has just taken a human form for the time being. Once a year, Lord Jagannath takes to the road to visit his aunt and in the process gives “darshan” to aam janta of all castes and creed. As per the believers, HWMNBN occasionally visits the temple to give “darshan” to Lord Jagannath. HWMNBN is Hindu Hriday Samrat as well as Vishwaguru. As Hindu Hriday Samrat, he decimates the biggest threat to Hindus by exterminating the Muslims but as a Vishwaguru of Vasudaiva Kutumbakam, he goes and embraces the Sheikhs in the Middle East. Only he could have found such perfect balance.
Our past was truly glorious until Nehru came and destroyed it all. Pehle sab kuchh tha – Internet, Satellite communication, spacecraft, plastic surgery, person-specific nuclear weapons … bas latrines nahi the jo HWMNBN ab bana rahe hain. As per the believers, Nehru only thought about the rich and famous but HWMNBN is trying to uplift the subaltern. So, anything he says or does can never be catcalling or anything like that, he might just be giving the subaltern their long-suppressed voice.
As per the believers, the whole world is now lining up felicitate India and HWMNBN. As per New York Times, HWMNBN “is the last best hope of earth.” Philip Kotler, the ultimate marketing guru has said, “In my career, I have taught people various marketing theories, but I can’t teach marketing skills to HWMNBN, he knows everything.” Professor Louise Richardson, Vice-Chancellor at Oxford University said, “if there’s anybody who can teach you better management skills than us, it’s HWMNBN; you should listen to his speeches often.” “I am all praise for HWMNBN, the steps he has taken, will bolster the economy and growth rate.” – these are the words ascribed to Jim Yong Kim, President of the World Bank. Microsoft founder Bill Gates has said, “I have seen many leaders fail to perform under pressure, but HWMNBN is perhaps the only leader I’ve come across who’s unaffected under pressure.” UNESCO has declared Indian national anthem as the best in the world even though UNESCO doesn’t rank or certify national anthems. It is another matter that these quotations are not found anywhere in any credible publication. Even the purported New York Times quote hasn’t been found in New York Times. Any international, or for that matter Indian, media criticising India or HWMNBN is anti-Indian and funded by Soros. Anybody who criticises HWMNBN has to be an acolyte of Rahul Gandhi. Why one cannot be equidistant from both or distant from all politicians does not even merit an answer.
HWMNBN has made India a name to contend with internationally. There’s nothing an HWMNBN-hug can’t resolve. Even though in some of their cultures, physical contact is very intrusive and some of them have been seen to try to avoid it and also use sanitisers immediately after, all international leaders look forward to being hugged by HWMNBN. He stopped the war in Ukraine just to evacuate the Indians stranded there. Trump is content to be guided by him in everything. Meloni is in love with him. Putin and Xi are his bum-chums. He nearly solved all the Indo-Pak problems over a plate of Biryani but the rogue Pak army played spoil-sport. It’s another matter that all our neighbours Pakistan, Nepal, Bhutan, Myanmar, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka and China hold India with extreme suspicion and hatred.
How exactly shall we manage without HWMNBN? Who can lead the country? In a country of 140 crores some of whom can lead Google, Microsoft, IBM, YouTube or can be Nobel laureates or can head populous states, we cannot find a single person to replace HWMNBN. No Sir.
If there is any small error, whatever HWMNBN is doing will die with him so we should give him a fair run. However, it is not known how long will this run continue to be called a fair run. Also, what is the guarantee that the permanent damages, if any or many, will not live after him?
Prime Ministers are supposed to take questions from the press. However, these rules don’t apply to HWMNBN, he being non-biological and divinely ordained. You can’t put God in the dock, can you? If there’re any questions about governance, just ask the opposition leaders – they are not responsible but they are answerable.
Prince Siddharth left home and wife in the
middle of the night and became Buddha, the Enlightened One. If another person
also similarly left, why should there be any criticism of that? It’s another
matter that the latter has positioned himself as the saviour of womankind ...
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