A perfect Tsunami

 

Back in 2008, a raging storm happened to people’s consciousness in the form of one Sarah Palin. She ran for Vice Presidency of the US and the world was never the same again. For a while. After calling herself a “typical hockey Mom,” she blithely went about mixing her geography, history and language as carelessly as some others mix their drinks but passed out a tad too soon on the couch of political life (this phrase was originally used by Kamala Das in a different context). 

In her great geography knowledge, she put Russia adjacent to Alaska: 

“As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where – where do they go? It’s Alaska. It’s just right over the border.” [This was to explain how she had great foreign policy experience because her state of Alaska was right next door to Russia.] 

“You can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska.”

She had to put Afghanistan in close proximity to the US: 

“They are also building schools for Afghan children so that there is hope and opportunity in our neighbouring country of Afghanistan.”

Then there was her vast erudition in history: 

“We’ve got to stand with our North Korean allies.” 

When asked to name a(ny) Supreme Court decision she disagreed with, thus spake she: 

“Well, let’s see. There’s, of course, in the great history of America rulings, there have been … rulings.” 

As far as current affairs were concerned, she claimed to be very engaged with those things. When asked to name a single newspaper or magazine she read, this was her reply: 

“All of ‘em, any of ‘em that have been in front of me all these years.” 

Then, she gave unto the English language a unique word, “Refudiate.” When trolled, she compared herself to Shakespeare: 

“‘Refudiate,’ ‘misunderestimate,’ ‘wee-wee’d up.’ English is a living language. Shakespeare liked to coin new words too. Got to celebrate it!’’’

This was the original quote on her Twitter account: 

“Ground Zero Mosque supporters: doesn’t it really stab you in the heart, as it does ours throughout the heartland? Peaceful Muslims, pls refudiate.” 

After the storm called Palin disappeared from the firmament, politics and life was dull and boring. For a good decade and a half, I’ve wondered, “After Palin, who?” Now we have the answer. I’m grateful to the BJP for unleashing one Kangana Ranaut who is threatening to become a perfect Tsunami. 

She started well in terms of history. 

“India gained Independence in 2014.” 

“Bheekh mein mili hui azadi koi azadi nahi hoti.” 

That was a while back. This has now been followed through with: 

“Pehle mujhe yeh baat aaj clear karne dijiye. Jab hume azaadi mili toh the first Prime Minister of India, Subhash Chandra Bose, woh kahan gaye? [Let me clear this first. When we gained Independence, where did the first Prime Minister of India, Subhas Chandra Bose go?]” 

Was Subhash Bose alive in 2014 – remember that year of our Independence? 

She is also a champion of women’s causes. 

“The Women’s Reservation Bill that grants 30 % reservation to women (in the Lok Sabha) is the reason why I have this stage today. Because of that, your daughter from Mandi has this stage.” – recent public address in Mandi’s Balh village. [It’s another matter that the bill has not been brought into effect yet.] 

Another sample. 

Regarding Public Examinations (Prevention of Unfair Means) Bill, 2024: 

“The women in the country should thank the government for introducing the bill. I further request this government that no man should be able to abandon a woman after dating her for long. If he does so, he must pay for her maintenance and give her alimony and casual hook ups and polygamy should be banned as well. Also, sexual intercourse should be banned for school-going children … The bill is important for the safety of young vulnerable women.” 

It doesn't matter that the bill was about cheating in examinations and not cheating on female partners and wives. 

Now she is delving into the metaphysical too. 

“It can be said that Narendra Modiji is an ‘ansh’ of Lord Ram and Lord Vishnu who takes care of us.” 

I do sincerely hope that she wins from Mandi and gets to adorn our Lok Sabha. There will never be a dull moment thereafter … This is a GUARANTEE – mine!