In the Police, some people are MBAs, the real thing, i.e., Masters of Business Administration, not the Married But Available types. Since popular wisdom is that for civil servants, life begins on the day one joins the service, some of these are born MBAs (i.e., already MBAs when they join), some attain MBAhood (they go for a mid-career course to “improve” their skill-set) and some have MBAhood thrust upon them (they resort to a study programme to tide over some inconvenient chapter in their careers while retaining the government quarters and perks). I happened to belong to the first category but soon realised how an MBA programme truly ill-equips you for a career in Policing.
Almost
at the beginning of the MBA course the teachers tell us about the virtues of
being Y type managers and how vile the X type managers are. Essentially, Type X Managers
believe that employees need to be coerced, controlled and micro-managed with
the threat of punishment to ensure that adequate effort is put towards
achieving the business’ goals. Type Y Managers believe that employees being
motivated at work is innate. People will accept, and even seek, taking on
responsibility under the right conditions. So, one should be nice to one’s
staff and believe in them. So I behaved as though any subordinate was a brother
from another mother and used to address them as “Dada.” One day, a Sub
Inspector fair shouted at me telling me to stop this nonsense. He said all
those fancy stuff is for the books. In a uniformed service, I was destroying
the whole hierarchy and discipline. That was sabak no. 1.
I thought I was a public
servant, the public was my client and client was God. As a part of training,
when I was assigned to do vehicle checking, I applied the Y theory and was
gently waving at trucks to stop so that I could check their papers. All the
trucks were just zooming past when my trainer Sub Inspector shouted, “Kya kar
rahen hain Dash saab, aise koi rukega kya! Ek ko do danda lagaiye, sab apne aap
rukenge. And he proceeded to put his words to action and was immediately and phenomenally
effective. So, that was the end of X type and Y type for me.
Then, there was this
beautiful concept of MBO, Management By Objectives. One was supposed to set the
targets jointly with the subordinates so that their involvement and buy-in
would be greater. However, when I tried it, all that happened was abysmally low
targets and one thousand and one excuses. Meanwhile, my boss held one Crime
Conference, suspended a few laggards and transferred a few others and
everything fell in place. Thus ended my flirtation with that theory.
However, one theory did
seem to apply – with some modifications. I found that officers do follow some
sort of Maslow’s hierarchy in their evolution in the career.
I don’t think, when he
joins the service, any officer is already evil personified. In fact, almost all
the officers, when they join, are fired with idealism to change the world and
leave the society a better place. So, the initial stage of the officer can be
characterised as, “I shall do no wrong; I shall also not let anyone do anything
wrong.” ISDNW, ISANLADAW. Wherever the officer sees any wrongdoing, he tends to
jump in like a greyhound dog and tear at it, sometimes at great cost to himself.
As time goes by, the officer finds that the system is just too big and too daunting and he is just ending up tilting at windmills and getting bloody and bruised without a scintilla of difference to the environment. Then maturity starts seeping in. Now, he modifies the paradigm to, “Okay, I shall do nothing wrong; let others do what they want to.” ISDNW, LODWTWT.
A little later, a little more maturity. What happens is, the officer finds that as he is sticking to his principles, or whatever is left of it, the world has been moving on. His no-longer-dear colleagues who trod a different path have been going from plum posting to plum posting while he has been rotting in the backwaters with unheard-of, un-remembered, un-sung, barely-there assignments like Rules & Manuals, Vehicle Licensing, and so on. Now the questioning starts and he asks, “What is right and what is wrong?” WIRAWIW?
This question leads, with an elegant inevitability, to the fourth phase and the GREAT REALISATION, “No, what was earlier right was actually wrong; what was wrong was actually right.” WWERWAW, WWWWAR.
While the fourth phase comes with certain (may be a lot of) benefits, internally, the officer is never at an easy place. As time goes by and he goes further and further down that slippery slope, he also becomes more and more aware of the price and futility of it all. Finally, corresponding to the self-actualisation acme of Maslow, he attains the pinnacle of “DO NOTHING!” and retires. DN!
“Pehle
pehle sahab log garam rehta hai; kuchh din ke baad naram hota hai; aur, akhir
mein … besharam ho jaata hai.”
LoL
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DeleteSuperb, Dash. Enjoyed the post. I guess the modified theory can be labeled the Dash-Low theory or Mas-Dash theory? Take your pick.
DeleteForgot to add my name - Radhax
DeleteThanks, Chief. Glad you added your name - it was coming as anonymous and I was wondering who was posting the creative comments. Cheers.
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